Infertility Awareness...Day 5 {Brevard County Photographer}

Originally my idea was to repeat last year's project and bring local women together and tell their story. Then COVID 19 happened and I couldn't do that. I said I had another idea and I am so excited with the way it came together. Social media is powerful. We all know that. Many times we hear the negative it does but it also does good. It brings people together and does create communities. One of those communities for me has been fertility groups. There is a local one for Brevard County Residents, Brevard Infertility on Facebook and some others around keto lifestyle and more.

I first reached out to my friends, clients and then to these groups and the response was amazing. So many women no longer wanting to be silent and wanting to SHARE their journey.  It is so powerful to see this. To see the faces of the women it does affect. To see what they have endured and how long. To know those who are in the trenches are not alone and that other women have gone before us and are there alongside us to lean on.

ZOOM IN ON PHOTO

1in 8.....look around you. Chances are there are 8 friends in your mom group, your tribe, your close circle of friends...at least one of them is dealing with infertility now or has in the past. That is a huge impact when you think about it. Yet despite the statistics, it's still a pretty taboo topic and forget consistent medical coverage.  We turn our eyes from it and pretend it almost doesn't exist...but it does. And I would venture to say to more than these numbers hold true to.

So today, I share these beautiful ladies. I share their faces. They are the women behind the 1 in 8. They are the ones who have endured the hurt and pain. They are the ones who  for some are still waiting. For others after extreme hardship, have been granted their prayers. And for a few others have chosen a different path and call to parenthood. And for many, it was not a clear reason which is probably the hardest part when dealing with it. However, each story is beautiful.

Thank you to all the ladies who participated. I couldn't have made this happen without your support. Thank you to everyone who has followed this blog this week. Maybe your friend is pictured here. Maybe they are in a season and need support. Reach out to them and let them know you support them in any way they need it. And if you are in a season right now, and need support please reach out I would love to help in any way I can. Thank you!

XO
Trisha

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Infertility Awareness...Day 4 {Brevard County Photographer}

Many times, when we think of infertility, we automatically think women. We rarely think the men. We see women we know who are on the journey, we immediately vision pregnancy and a women's body. Yet according to studies male infertility is 30% of cases and 40-50% for second time trying. Which is alarming when you think about it. It is either her, him or something unknown. So, if that is the case and he takes up 30% of the cases, it is a pretty even divide among her and the unknown.

In fact, when I search Infertility it automatically takes me to female related issues. I get it. We have more reasons to cause for issues- ovulation issues, cervical issues, PCOS, endometriosis, abnormal periods, and age to name a few. Men on the other hand, their list is much shorter- sperm related issues. And while that list is short there are issues within that list that males can deal with- low sperm count, abnormal sperm, or lifestyle factors that have damaged sperm (heat, injury).

I bring this up because no one ever seems to think that men struggle with it...but they do. In fact most men have the thought process of "fix it". For centuries men are the ones who build things and make it happen. Right? So, when faced with the task of getting their partner pregnant, and it is not happening, regardless if their the cause it takes a toll.

In my own experience, my husband wanted children long before I did. So, when we did begin our journey, it was hard on him as it was for me. He would see lots of other men have tons of children, many times they had multiple children with multiple women and he just wanted one. Even though he was not the cause of our infertility, he still struggled with the "why can't I get her pregnant" thoughts.

Men are left in the dark a little too. They are not the ones going through the cycle like a woman does. They don't experience ovulation or the start of the period to confirm a negative pregnancy. They are really just left to follow our lead. If we don't keep them up to speed, they really don't know all that is going on. The act becomes a chore to them too and loses its luster. I am sure this is probably a conversation most men don't talk about during commercials of the latest sports game, but the reality is it does affect them too.

As for women, it is a whole emotional roller coaster we are on. We live in this 2-week cycle. Two weeks to ovulation, two weeks to wait for positive test. Repeat. It becomes a routine in our minds and we can't escape it. Which when anyone says: "Stop trying" I honestly don't know what they mean. I mean we have to "commit the act" in order to get pregnant and we've learned all the signs of our body to know when to do what, that we can't simply stop and turn everything off.

But beyond the vicious cycle of two weeks, the thoughts women deal with are hard too. You see, we get hopeful, in fact we have to be. Negativity won't help the situation. So we fantasize about it. We think about all the details of "what if it's this month?" We count out the months to see when a child would be born, we think of clever ways to announce it based off the due date and when we find out We think about the names we want to give. We hold on to these names for years sometimes. Hoping one day we will hold a slice of heaven with the name we have chosen. Our life is put in limbo. We want to live and enjoy it but we are bound to the process of planning the details. Is it ok to plan a large trip or will that be when I am too pregnant or will I have a newborn and have to cancel? Committing to things is hard when we anticipate a positive pregnancy test.

The struggles of infertility affect both male and female regardless of what the cause of infertility is. No one is broken. No one is damaged goods. For anyone who is struggling, I pray that the womb is open and your arms are soon filled with a precious little one. I am always here to talk to anyone who need it. I get it. I am there in the trenches with you. Thanks for reading and following us this week. Tomorrow we will have a special post and I cannot wait to share with you.

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