Infertility Awareness and loss....1 in 4, 1 in 100

A lot of time when women are dealing with infertility they are also dealing with other struggles. As we saw in the last blog post some of those struggles include PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and endometriosis. Two "diseases" that attack the reproductive system in women. I personally know the struggles that come with endometriosis and can tell you this in not an enjoyable thing to deal with.

Sadly, women struggling to conceive with these conditions or others conditions unknown also struggle with loss. They become pregnant either quickly or after a long battle only to loose the baby. In fact this is so common that 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage (loss under 20 weeks gestation). That number is very alarming when you think about it. 1 in 4. If you have a close group of friends chances are at least one of you have gone through this. A lot of time this is suffered and dealt with in silence so you may not even be aware of it.

With loss like this comes a wave of emotions and questions...why? What happened? Did I do something wrong? Many times there is zero answers for these women making it harder to cope. Many times this happens during what is called secondary infertility making it even harder to understand. Secondary infertility is when a women conceives a child with no complications or assistance then struggles to conceive and stay pregnant the second time around.

In addition, 1 in 100 women will go on to deliver a stillborn. Babies who are stillborn are past the 20 weeks gestation but have passed away in utero. Again leaving moms filled with sadness and unanswered questions. As their baby grew further along in utero, they usually had an ultrasound showing their miracle and a gender reveal too making the baby more of a reality in their hearts as they prepared only to have the world come crashing down.

And finally, loss. Thanks to medical advances many babies are born too early due to unexpected circumstances and end up thriving. Other times their fight is stronger than they are. For some women there's a medical issue surrounding the early birth of their baby, and for some there are no answers. Some women have delivered full term babies only to loose them in their first year due to illness, failure to thrive, SIDS and many other issues medicine is working hard to understand.

 As I began this project of bringing awareness to infertility I knew I couldn't just focus on that since so many women have dealt with more than just that. So I wanted to bring life to all the issues surrounding this topic as well.  I am so thankful for these ladies for sharing their story and helping with this special project. <3 Please remember, you are not alone in this journey and we are hear to help you with the coping process.

Meet Tina....she is 1 in 100

Tina already had a son and wanted to expand her family with one more baby. She was able to conceive naturally and found herself pregnant without any issues.She was so excited when she learned she was pregnant and even more so when she learned she was having a little girl. This news came at the right moment as she had lost her grandmother had recently passed away. Being close she planned to name her daughter Libby after her.  Early in the pregnancy she dealt with morning sickness that tappered off into her second trimester. Then at 7 months pregnant she received the worst news of her life. She had lost her sweet daughter Libby. Tina felt like she not only lost her baby but also her grandmother all over again. She delivered her daughter stillborn in 2018. Tina replays the day she found out over and over in her head. It was the first and only appointment she went to alone. There was no family around her as the news was given to her. She said the hardest part of the whole process was leaving the hospital knowing her daughter wasn't coming with her. Here is what she wants others to know about her experience:
The struggle is real but everyday we make the best of it! I chose to have her cremated and had some beautiful jewelry made with her ashes, I also have some of her ashes in my tattoo that I got done for her and we have a beautiful memorial outside our home for her which also has some ashes under a special tree we had planted for her! I still celebrate her and cherish the little memories that I had with her! On her birthday this year was when we did the reveal for our rainbow baby’s gender. We had a cake for Libby for her birthday and when we cut into the cake it was blue! We made it special and will always continue to cherish her and live with her... just becuase she is not physically here with us doesn’t mean she’s not always with us! My 3 year old son knows about her and all of my future children will also know about her. If you ask me how many children do I have I will always say 3 until my next than it will be 4... and so on... I still delivered her and got to hold her and kiss her, I have all of her prints and blanket she was wrapped in... she’s special to me and I will always cherish those little moments I had!
Now Tina awaits the arrival of her sweet rainbow baby. Fear continues to loom in the back of her mind as is reminded of Libby. Praying for a smooth and successful delivery. 

 Meet Jaimee and Brooke ...

Jaimee's first baby, Brooke was a surprise to her and her husband. A sweet surprise to say the least. Jaimee was over the moon knowing she was having a little girl of her own. Things were going fine until 23 weeks what she thought was a rough case of braxton hicks ended up being preterm labor. Her water ended up breaking and by the time she made it to the hospital she was already 7cm dilated. Dr's couldn't stop the labor.  Brooke was a strong girl. She was delivered at 12:01am. She fought hard for over 12 hours and passed at 12:15pm. 12 hours seems so short. Half a day. But those 12 hours forever changed Jaimee's life. 12 hours she lived....a beating heart and breathing. The fight to survive at this age is hard and while she gave it her best, the fight was stronger than her. Jaimee learned that she has an incompetent cervix. While this was not the way she wanted to find out, it was good to know for her next two pregnancies. She would have to have her cervix sewn shut until her baby was full term to avoid this happening again. This didn't mean her pregnancies were easy as she was limited on activities and bed rest due to the high risk nature.

Jamiee shares her thoughts and support system:
The hardest part was letting my faith be stronger than my fear. Trusting in God and my care providers to take care of me and my unborn children after such a huge loss was so difficult. But my desire to become a mother ended up being stronger than my fear of the worst happening again. My husband Alec was my #1 supporter. He went with me to grief meetings,almost every doctors appointment,and took care of me after all of my surgeries.

And the most imporant thing Jaimee wants you to understand from her experience is this:
That even though you can’t see our child,they still count. You see two children with me,but I have three. We love hearing you say their name,and most of us love talking about our child. We WANT to talk about them,because talking about them validates their existence. It keeps their memory alive. Please don’t be afraid to talk about our child,we want to know you acknowledge them just as you do our living children. They are part of us.

12 hours on Earth, eternally in our hearts and part of our family! <3

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Infertility Awareness... 1 in 8

So many times we hear statistics, but do we know the faces of those statistics? Do we know who the ones are the really are struggling? Do we understand how common the struggle is and that the people in your own life and part of this statistic?


Many times when it comes to infertility the outside world has no clue the person is struggling. In the medical world if you are trying to conceive for more than a year without success then you are considered struggling with infertility. Which is why you probably don't know many women are struggling, as they have quietly dealt with their journey for  a year alone. They've gone through the fear of the reasons why, the shame of "am I broken" or "did I do something wrong?" and they don't know how to always say what they are feeling around the subject.

I took on this special project to bring awareness to this topic and share their stories. May this be a beacon of hope for others in the same boat. May you know you are not alone, you are not broken and we are here to support you.

1 in 8....these are the faces....this is their stories.

Meet Diane. She and her husband struggled to get pregnant for over 2 years. Their road to conceive was not easy. Diane is 1 in 8 who struggle to conceive. Part of their struggle was because Diane has PCOS, anovulatory cycles, and absence/irregular menstruation. Finally with the help of medications and injections she was able to conceive a son. Her pregnancy was not a smooth journey either. She dealt with  high blood pressure, pain and aggravation of back injury, 2 compressed nerves resulting in numbness of limbs and clumsiness/tripping/falling. Thankfully despite the struggle and pain, she gave birth to her sweet boy Owen.

Diane's biggest support was her husband and mom during this difficult time. Getting pregnant was not an easy feat and the medications used were equally difficult to deal with the changes they caused to her body and hormones.

When asked what she wanted others to know this is what she had to say: "if you’ve never struggled you can tell those who are it will happen when it’s meant to be, that’s not helpful but incredibly hurtful. Telling someone it just wasn’t mean to be is not ok. Asking every time you see them... are you pregnant yet? Or when are you going to have a baby? That isn’t helping either. Struggling to understand why our body “hates us”, why we who want a baby so bad cannot get pregnant but those who don’t want a child can look at a man and get pregnant is extremely painful and takes a toll on our mental health. We don’t want to hear you can just adopt, adoption is expensive and doesn’t allow us the ability to carry a child. If you’ve never struggled we don’t want to made feel broke, we already feel it, just be a friend who listens and let’s us cry/vent or what ever else we need because unfortunately you probably don’t have the answers we need but you have an ear to listen and just be a friend."

Meet Andrea.....she is 1 in 8 and 1 in 4

Andrea and her husband have had their share of heartache over the course of this pregnancy. As she glows with excitement as she anticipates her sweet baby coming soon, the road to get here was not easy.
Unlike Diane, there was no answer for her struggle to get pregnant. They performed numerous tests but no answers which made the struggle even more frustrating. In the course of 8 years, she would experience 6 miscarriages without any explanation as to why.  She never gave up and never lost hope despite the fact that  1 in 4 pregnancies result in a miscarriage. Finally she conceived naturally and is currently 30 week pregnant. She is thankful for her husband being by her side through this whole journey and never giving up with her. <3

Meet Nichole...she is 1 in 8 and 1 in 4


Nichole's journey has been one filled with heart ache and emptiness as she struggled to conceive and dealt with loss during her pregnancies. Her infertility has been narrowed down to unexplained with a possibility of PCOS and genetic mutation MTHFR gene.
"I suffered a chemical pregnancy I named the baby Sam because I never knew if it was a girl or a boy, I passed the baby at home and it was extremely painful both emotionally and physically. I then started another round of fertility treatments and got pregnant with Alex again named for either a girl or boy, this time was much more painful I watched Alex grow on an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat. My doctor expressed concerns and put me on bed rest and did ultrasounds every 3 days. Alex’s heartbeat did stop which I struggled to accept and even went for second options, this baby was not passing on its own and I had to go throw a d and c procedure.My pregnancy with my first child did have a scare of preterm labor due to a fall however she was born healthy at 36 weeks. My other two pregnancy’s ended in miscarriages. My fourth pregnancy was very hard. I was on bed rest after the iui and for the entire first trimester. I found out I was having twins so I also had to see a high risk doctor. I was in and out of the er and ended up going into preterm labor. They were able to stop it after being in the hospital impatient. They felt confident I could go home and stay in bed rest and medicine. I was discharged on a Friday and woke up on a Saturday and went to the bathroom and my water broke. I was then back in the hospital with a plan of keeping the twins in until 34 weeks and since only baby bs water had broken I was ok. The next morning I woke up in a lot of pain and by noon was rushed into an emergency c section and delivered twins at 28 weeks and 3 days." Nichole is the proud mom to her daughter Vanessa, Twin boys Matthew and Maverick and angel babies Sam and Alex. During this season of life she is thankful for husband for all his support: "Without him I would of given up, He wiped tears and never once made me feel like I was any of less a woman or a partner. There was no amount of money that was too much because he wanted to see my happy. He reminded me that motherhood was not a dream but we would find a way. It’s important to have a strong supportive spouse because without him I wouldn’t have my family."  If Nichole could share one thing with others about this journey she had this to say: "I saw a quote online “ I still remember the days I prayed for things I have now”. The things I have now I prayed and sometimes even begged and pleaded with god for. I lost myself time and time again, I lost my faith and found it .I endured this journey for the last 7.5 years. I have been blessed to now have three living children. However I still struggling with knowing I can not conceive naturally. I wonder if I didn’t have babies in heaven would I ever have been so blessed too have the twin boys. The journey is part of the story and that is now my identity. If your going through this journey I encourage you not to give up. Do not lose your hope and tell your story let others know they are not alone."

Meet Christine...she is 1 in 8


As Christine waits for the birth of her baby, she shares the struggle to conceive:
My husband and I got married in September 2016 and immediately started trying to conceive. We always knew it may take some time, as I had been on birth control for a number of years, but after a few months, I knew something was wrong. We started by getting basic testing through my OBGYN. After fertility testing came back normal for both of us and hormone pills didn't work, he recommended that we see the specialists at Center for Reproductive Medicine here in Orlando. At first there was hope. Then again, they couldn't find any problems with the more elaborate fertility tests either. I was diagnosed shortly after with endometriosis and my specialist suggested having the surgery to clear it out. I had the surgery in March 2018 and felt a new sense of hope. The specialist told us to go home and attempt to conceive the old fashioned way for the next 6 months. Every month that went by with no luck and every post from friends who were able to conceive naturally, led to my ugly crying and breaking down. Finally, I had had enough. My husband had seen the defeat and we decided we were going back to the specialist and demanding we get more in depth help that October. We decided to give IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) a try. I had been on numerous blogs with women who said they had tried IUI 5,6,7 times with no luck, so I didn't know if I should be excited or just see this as a stepping stone to IVF. We missed the mark to start IUI that month so had to wait a few more weeks to get ahead of my next cycle. I was on 2 oral medications the weeks leading up to ovulation and then a hormone shot to the stomach 2 days before the scheduled procedure. The morning of November 25th (which just happened to be my husband's birthday) was our day. I went in and everything was easy. Then it was a waiting game--am I pregnant or is this a waste?! Everything was very procedural, and according to the plan I was to test on Dec 8, three days after my own birthday. I am an early bird and very anxious so my first pee of the day was at 6am. I took the test in the guest bath so I didn't wake my husband and so, if needed, I could have one good ugly cry to the negative test. Finally, the test was ready and I almost couldn't believe it--PREGNANT!! I came back into bed crying tears of JOY this time to tell my half asleep husband he was going to be a daddy and it's been all joy from there! Our precious angel baby girl is due August 15, 2019 and WE CAN'T WAIT!
Christine also shared that her husband and mom were her biggest support especially as she would see others share the excitement of their own pregnancies and she too longed for this same experience. It was not easy, she lost hope but she kept swimming and is so thankful for the medical advances that helped her conceive.


If you are struggling in this area, please reach out. We want to help you. We want to be your voice, a shoulder to lean on and a safe place to talk. You are not alone and we are here with you.