Thursday, January 8, 2015

Newborn it changed me

If anyone really knows me then they might be a little shocked that I am a newborn photographer. If you ask me, some days I am shocked too. If we go back about 6 years ago, it might explain the reason why. My sister had twin boys. Cute adorable twin boys. I wanted nothing to do with them until they were about 6 months old. I was afraid of them. LOL They had a wobbly head and they were so small and I had no interest in holding a newborn let alone try to take their picture. I think I maybe held them twice and it was with someone very close by in case they started to cry. It wasn't just my twin nephews, it was all kids. I never got excited when others had a baby or even brought a baby around. 

Then about two years ago something happened. It was part business and part personal. My husband and I decided it was time to start trying to have kids. So we tried and we tried and we are still trying. But as we began the process I was still very scared of newborn babies, pregnancy, name it. Why couldn't they just pop out at the age of 3 already potty trained?!?!? Seriously that was my thought. So I knew that if I was going to have a child of my own some day I couldn't have this view. So I began to pray and ask God to change me and prepare me for children. There were many months I also prayed for my period because I was not ready for kids. This battle continued on and on. I started to photograph a few babies. I figured if I was going to have a baby, I would want to be ready to take their picture.
As I began to work with then I noticed a few things from a photographer's point of view. I was missing something. The images weren't bad but they weren't the ones everyone dreams of when they get their brand new baby photographed. So I set out to find a newborn workshop to learn a little more. We continued to try to have children with no success, but God was still working on me. As I took the class last May, I was still very nervous to hold a baby. The instructor took the babies and handled them with confidence. She soothed their crying and made them look so peaceful. She posed them with ease and brought to life beautiful images.
I began to see that it wasn't scary holding a baby and soothing their cry. Who knew rubbing their forehead and swaying back and forth really does work! I almost wish someone would rub my forehead to put me to sleep. LOL But she showed me that babies are like animals, they sense fear from you. Since that workshop I've had the pleasure of holding 6 different babies and slowly with each one I watch my fear become less and less.

I still get nervous and I still am slightly reserved to just grab any baby and hold it, but God has used my love of photography to allow me to see the beauty in his creation of life rather than to fear it. I've also had the privilege to photography quite a few pregnant ladies and show them that they are beautiful with child. It has also helped me to not fear pregnancy either. God has still yet to open my womb but He has continued to change my heart and my view and allow me to bless others with beautiful images they can adore for years to come.

I hope you will continue with me on this journey as God continues to change me and perfect the art of newborn photography. I look forward to holding your babies and soothing their cried and giving you beautiful images for years to come!


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